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Date: 20 Jan 2009 19:28:00
From:
Subject: bad attitude
two open frames in a row means several hours of being pissed off, I
have anger management issues coming from my screwed up childhood. even
though I am now 40 yrs old, I still can't get a grip on my bad
attitude when I make mistakes. I fear it will never allow me to be a
good bowler. all of the prayer and bible study through the years have
not cured the problem. I guess I just am who I am and I have to learn
to bowl through the anger. bowling is hard enough without trying to do
it when your angry. maybe some day I will lighten up.




 
Date: 21 Jan 2009 12:13:57
From:
Subject: Re: bad attitude
On Jan 21, 4:13=A0am, moncho <mon...@NOspmanywhere.com > wrote:
> spr272...@netzero.net wrote:
> > two open frames in a row means several hours of being pissed off, =A0I
> > have anger management issues coming from my screwed up childhood. even
> > though I am now 40 yrs old, I still can't get a grip on my bad
> > attitude when I make mistakes. I fear it will never allow me to be a
> > good bowler. all of the prayer and bible study through the years have
> > not cured the problem. I guess I just am who I am and I have to learn
> > to bowl through the anger. bowling is hard enough without trying to do
> > it when your angry. maybe some day I will lighten up.
>
> I second what Darlene said but I also understand it is a
> little difficult in that immediate moment to try
> and think logically and calm down.
>
> Maybe you should work out a code word with your bowling
> buddies that will alert you about your attitude so
> you can try to calm down before throwing your next
> ball.
>
> I had a couple opens in my third game last night to
> ruin a possible 700. =A0Had a split in the second
> and 7 pin in the third. =A0After missing the 7 pin,
> I went in my "I don't F'ng Care" mode, not really
> pissy or angry, more like apathy (that is my big
> problem). =A0That screwed up the next two strike
> balls even though I still made the spares. =A0My
> buddy mentioned that I was being an idiot, re-focused,
> and struck out from there. =A0Ended up with a 654, which
> then I became pissy because I left a 700 on lanes
> instead of in my stats.
>
> moncho

none of my friends bowl, so I bowl by myself. I don't bowl in a leugue
because I don't want to be the poisen pill of the group.


  
Date: 21 Jan 2009 16:30:12
From: John O
Subject: Re: bad attitude

<spr272000@netzero.net > wrote in message
news:15f24e18-527c-4d91-a4df-61088abbc57f@a39g2000prl.googlegroups.com...
On Jan 21, 4:13 am, moncho <mon...@NOspmanywhere.com > wrote:
> spr272...@netzero.net wrote:
> > two open frames in a row means several hours of being pissed off, I
> > have anger management issues coming from my screwed up childhood. even
> > though I am now 40 yrs old, I still can't get a grip on my bad
> > attitude when I make mistakes. I fear it will never allow me to be a
> > good bowler. all of the prayer and bible study through the years have
> > not cured the problem. I guess I just am who I am and I have to learn
> > to bowl through the anger. bowling is hard enough without trying to do
> > it when your angry. maybe some day I will lighten up.
>
> I second what Darlene said but I also understand it is a
> little difficult in that immediate moment to try
> and think logically and calm down.
>
> Maybe you should work out a code word with your bowling
> buddies that will alert you about your attitude so
> you can try to calm down before throwing your next
> ball.
>
> I had a couple opens in my third game last night to
> ruin a possible 700. Had a split in the second
> and 7 pin in the third. After missing the 7 pin,
> I went in my "I don't F'ng Care" mode, not really
> pissy or angry, more like apathy (that is my big
> problem). That screwed up the next two strike
> balls even though I still made the spares. My
> buddy mentioned that I was being an idiot, re-focused,
> and struck out from there. Ended up with a 654, which
> then I became pissy because I left a 700 on lanes
> instead of in my stats.
>
> moncho

none of my friends bowl, so I bowl by myself. I don't bowl in a leugue
because I don't want to be the poisen pill of the group.
________________________

That kind of anger is probably deeper than just bowling, ya know? If you
like to read, get to amazon and find some used books about anger. (cheap)
Or, find a therapist. (not cheap) Anger will destroy you if you don't find
some balance. Bowling is too damn frustrating to have anger issues. :-)

-John O





 
Date: 21 Jan 2009 11:24:09
From:
Subject: Re: bad attitude
On Jan 21, 11:34=A0am, PromptJock <102151.3...@compuserve.com > wrote:
> > two open frames in a row means several hours of being pissed off, =A0I
> > have anger management issues coming from my screwed up childhood. even
> > though I am now 40 yrs old, I still can't get a grip on my bad
> > attitude when I make mistakes. I fear it will never allow me to be a
> > good bowler. all of the prayer and bible study through the years have
> > not cured the problem. I guess I just am who I am and I have to learn
> > to bowl through the anger. bowling is hard enough without trying to do
> > it when your angry. maybe some day I will lighten up.
>
> Your last line pretty much sums up the root of the issue. =A0One has to
> be very aware of the fact that "'someday' will never come on its'
> own!"
>
> As Dar replied, you need to proactively TAKE CONTROL OF YOURSELF,
> possibly by having a few sessions with a qualified therapist. =A0I know
> this reads trite, etc., but until YOU take responsibility for YOUR
> THOUGHTS, you're always gonna suffer from chronic Baddus
> Attitudinitis.
>
> To that end, I heartily recommend Dr. Dean Hinitz' book "Focused For
> Bowling". =A0STUDY this book (i.e., read it SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY) and
> have a couple of highlighters handy (trust me - you'll highlight A LOT
> of passages!) and I guarantee that you'll "open a window to yourself",
> you'll start understanding WHY you "'bad attitude'", and then start
> improving. :)
>
> Finally, try Dar's advice about having your TEAMMATES let you know
> when the Baddus Attitudinitis starts showing. =A0The quicker you can
> identify it, the faster you can deal with it, etc. before it takes
> over your game. :)
>
> Good luck and take care...

FWIW, I found that when I bowled on 1 league, I was like that. I'd
get pissed if I didn't shoot 200, or got a rip-off ten pin, etc. But
when I bowled on 3 leagues, I was much more relaxed because I felt
like if I didn't do well or things went poorly, there was always
another league in a few days and it all evened out. That's why you
don't see the pro's get too rattled when they leave a ringing ten. I
mean yeah, they're pro's and can't afford to get rattled, but in the
"long run" it evens out.

I just felt when I was on only one league that I didn't have time to
spare for it to "even out".

T


 
Date: 21 Jan 2009 08:34:03
From: PromptJock
Subject: Re: bad attitude
> two open frames in a row means several hours of being pissed off, =A0I
> have anger management issues coming from my screwed up childhood. even
> though I am now 40 yrs old, I still can't get a grip on my bad
> attitude when I make mistakes. I fear it will never allow me to be a
> good bowler. all of the prayer and bible study through the years have
> not cured the problem. I guess I just am who I am and I have to learn
> to bowl through the anger. bowling is hard enough without trying to do
> it when your angry. maybe some day I will lighten up.

Your last line pretty much sums up the root of the issue. One has to
be very aware of the fact that "'someday' will never come on its'
own!"

As Dar replied, you need to proactively TAKE CONTROL OF YOURSELF,
possibly by having a few sessions with a qualified therapist. I know
this reads trite, etc., but until YOU take responsibility for YOUR
THOUGHTS, you're always gonna suffer from chronic Baddus
Attitudinitis.

To that end, I heartily recommend Dr. Dean Hinitz' book "Focused For
Bowling". STUDY this book (i.e., read it SLOWLY AND CAREFULLY) and
have a couple of highlighters handy (trust me - you'll highlight A LOT
of passages!) and I guarantee that you'll "open a window to yourself",
you'll start understanding WHY you "'bad attitude'", and then start
improving. :)

Finally, try Dar's advice about having your TEAMMATES let you know
when the Baddus Attitudinitis starts showing. The quicker you can
identify it, the faster you can deal with it, etc. before it takes
over your game. :)

Good luck and take care...


 
Date: 21 Jan 2009 07:13:31
From: moncho
Subject: Re: bad attitude
spr272000@netzero.net wrote:
> two open frames in a row means several hours of being pissed off, I
> have anger management issues coming from my screwed up childhood. even
> though I am now 40 yrs old, I still can't get a grip on my bad
> attitude when I make mistakes. I fear it will never allow me to be a
> good bowler. all of the prayer and bible study through the years have
> not cured the problem. I guess I just am who I am and I have to learn
> to bowl through the anger. bowling is hard enough without trying to do
> it when your angry. maybe some day I will lighten up.

I second what Darlene said but I also understand it is a
little difficult in that immediate moment to try
and think logically and calm down.

Maybe you should work out a code word with your bowling
buddies that will alert you about your attitude so
you can try to calm down before throwing your next
ball.

I had a couple opens in my third game last night to
ruin a possible 700. Had a split in the second
and 7 pin in the third. After missing the 7 pin,
I went in my "I don't F'ng Care" mode, not really
pissy or angry, more like apathy (that is my big
problem). That screwed up the next two strike
balls even though I still made the spares. My
buddy mentioned that I was being an idiot, re-focused,
and struck out from there. Ended up with a 654, which
then I became pissy because I left a 700 on lanes
instead of in my stats.

moncho


 
Date: 21 Jan 2009 04:09:53
From: Darlene Block
Subject: Re: bad attitude
If you will just think about what you said and truly understand that the
only harm being done is to yourself you should be able to turn that energy
into positive thoughts....what change can you make that might help the ball
path? Keep making educated efforts until something works. It's a waste of
energy dwelling on what has already happened. Use the information to make
positive changes. You should be in charge of what is happening in your
approach, not fruitlessly venting. At 30 years old you should be ready to
handle challenges not sabotage yourself with temper tantrums.
Dar
<spr272000@netzero.net > wrote
> two open frames in a row means several hours of being pissed off, I
> have anger management issues coming from my screwed up childhood. even
> though I am now 40 yrs old, I still can't get a grip on my bad
> attitude when I make mistakes. I fear it will never allow me to be a
> good bowler. all of the prayer and bible study through the years have
> not cured the problem. I guess I just am who I am and I have to learn
> to bowl through the anger. bowling is hard enough without trying to do
> it when your angry. maybe some day I will lighten up.